John Watson’s wife convinced a kindergartner to do something he didn’t want to do by offering him the next two days off from school. Guess what day it was.
In our family, the six year old thinks the ice cream truck is the “music truck”. Although, she recently said “I saw Timmy get an ice cream from the music truck”, so I think we’re busted!
So, it’s confession time y’all. What pile of BS are you proudest of foisting on your little buggers? Do tell.
My son had a lot of ear wax when he was younger. I had both of my kids convinced that watching TV gave you “wax in your brain”. And the only way to get rid of it was to read. They’re still not sure it’s not true! We work with what we got.
now that you mention it, khymi totally called the ice cream truck “the music truck” this summer (we have a particularly noisy one in our neighborhood). i had no problem with perpetuating that notion
also, i know i should have something to contribute here but i’m drawing a complete blank. i’ll get back to you if i think of something good.
A few I have told my kids
The Declaration of Independence was a letter to the king saying “Step Off!”
TV will melt your brain! Really ask your older brother. (They don’t have one)
Mopping the floor is FUN!
You’ve never had this food before so try it for the first time.
We’re selling you kids to gypsies. (This doesn’t work as the little one now wants to be a gypsy)
Telling them they are not the age they are to the 12yo you’re 7
ANYTHING about the permanent record at school.
You don’t like this candy.
That this is monster spray if applied around closets under beds and in the general area will protect you. (Ordinary water or body spray)
If you don’t listen to me and stop roughhousing you will fall down break your head and your brains will leak out and I’m NOT cleaning it up!
I’ve always wanted to try (but my wife will not let me) If they get a pet (e.g. hamster, rabbit, cat) the FIRST time that I have to take care of it we’re having it for dinner. And when (not if) it happens we serve chicken…. Granted I’m not that heartless as to REALLY get rid of the pet. but I felt that it was a rather influential way to get them to understand. Fortunately my wife has talked me out of it.
Using the tracking tools in Google earth to say SEE I CAN see you at the park!
For all that are offended by my comment my kids know that I use hyperbole to make them understand and will then play up to my jokes. But on the other hand after reading my comments I realized… I’m going to hell…
I don’t lie to my kids; I just treat them like adults so I don’t need to lie to them. Oh yeah, I’m also the boss so what I say goes and they know it, because I never make a threat that I’m not perfectly willing to follow through on.
My 3 year old son loves rocks. I take him to the park and he brings back as many as he can fit in his little fists.
Just before we go inside I tell him he has to leave the rocks outside. When he protests I explain that the rocks need sunshine and water so they can grow. He thinks on this for just a second. As soon as it looks like he’s about to say something I ask where he thinks mountains come from. I tell him that the rocks have to be left outside so they can grow into mountains (I have the fortunate effect of being able to point at the rocky mountains as I say this).
He now places them very carefully in out front yard to make sure that the mountains will form just where he wants them.
Thanks for that one mom. And where are my freaking mountains, did you move my rocks?
When I was little my parents convinced me that brushing my teeth was a good thing by threatening to take it away. “Do that or you won’t be allowed to brush your teeth tonight!” From what I have been told, it lasted up until kindergarten.
We’re loving this! So many great stories. Please keep ‘me coming.
Michael & Hannah
FamilyHack.com
Rice cakes were called “cookies”. This worked great until my son saw his cousin eating a rice cake and asked for a cookie. His grandmother told him he could not have a cookie, but he could have a rice cake….cover blown!
We’re all about the monsters here. When the kids are not playing nice (taking toys away from each other etc) I calmly explian that the monsters can tell when they are doing something wrong and that there is no way for me to stop them from coming in and taking kids away. Sometimes I also will close the curtains as a way of trying to ‘protect’ the kids from the monsters. They usually straighten right up.
What happens when these kids realize that these things aren’t true? It’s really not cute or funny what you’re doing. They will doubt what you say. Try telling them the truth, at their level of course, and when they get older they will trust in what you say and be more apt to tell the truth themselves.
@ Elle - Sorry if we offended you, but I’m glad you commented. I see your point but think you may be taking this harmless fun a little too literally. I’d guess that 99% of what parents tell their kids is the truth. Sometimes a distraction is better than trying to argue a point with a child who lacks the intellectual and emotional maturity to parse what is coming at them.
Thinking of my own upbringing, I don’t begrudge my parents for telling me the Santa and Easter Bunny myths. In fact, I have no recollection of finding out these were lies. I think the process of realizing these things are myths is a gradual one that happens over years. Not a shocking event that scars us for life.
Best,
Michael
http://www.familyhack.com
You did not offend me. Santa and the Easter Bunny are fantasies enjoyed by children. Distractions are diverting a child’s attention to something completely different, not deceiving them because it’s easier. Children remember more than you think. Sorry, Michael, I don’t mean to offend you either, but I feel strongly about being as honest as you can (like I said, at their level), and keeping fantasies just that. In the article you submitted, the man’s wife manipulated her child, even if the child didn’t know it. It’s not something to be proud of.
I was replanting some stuff out on our deck one day a few months back. I transferred a calla lily bulb to a pot, and set it aside. I had meant to take the whole thing to the basement as to not force it to grow, but hopefully lay dormant until spring. Being the blackthumb that I am, I forgot I planted it and left it sitting on the deck. Later that same week, my 4yr old daughter found some coffee beans on the floor that had been dropped, and not picked up, by her father. She said that she wanted to go plant these “seeds” in the empty flower pot outside. I said, “Sure, why not?” So she did. The next week… those calla lily bulbs busted through the dirt. I had not noticed, but my daughter did. She came screaming into the kitchen… “MOMMY!!!!! My seeds are growing! LOOK LOOK!” Well, sure enough, there they were… her new plants, the coffee lilies. They never did bloom, but the leaves grew and grew… all the while my daughter thinking these beautiful leaves came from coffee “seeds”.
We used this one successfully on both my children. When they were each about two or three and at the “I don’t want to nap even though I REALLY need one” stage we would tell them that their favorite stuffed animal was tired and needed to go take a nap. We went on to say that since the favorite stuffed animal often accompanied them on their naps they should go lie down with the animal and keep them company while the animal napped. They were usually quite happy to lie down with their favorite furry friend while the furry friend napped. More often than not they ended up taking that much needed nap.
Yes, it is a trick in that the stuffed animal doesn’t need a nap but it enabled the kids to make a choice and to take that nap. Roundabout, yes. Evil and harmful to the child when the child finds out, no I don’t think so.
My parents used to try these tricks on me when I was a kid.
Worked for a little while too.
Then I simply stopped believing in anything they said, which created a whole new set of problems, eventually the whole thing worked out.
I guess it depends on the kids and parents, I happened to be one of those kids who kind of held grudges, and had a pretty good memory. So my parents “tricks” or “white lies” only worked, till I wound teaching myself the lesson not to trust them on anything.
FWIW, things did work out over the years, I am very close with them (hell I work for them), but I can’t say I would use tricks and white lies with my kids, god forbid, they become even more cynical then I was.
Just found this site through thepioneerwoman.com, so my comment’s a little late. I’m not a parent, but I’m getting old enough to pay attention to how other people raise their kids, hoping in vain that I’ll be at least vaguely prepared when mine show up in a few years.
When my boyfriend and his younger brother were growing up, their dad had a great trick. Younger brother often saw his elder sibling doing fun things that dad didn’t feel he was yet old enough to do. He would ask, of course, “Dad, why can’t I do that?” And dad would reply “You can do that when you’re as old as your brother.” Many years passed, with this reply given many times, often to the same things year after year. The poor boy was well into his teenage years before he realized that he never actually would be as old as his brother.
I grew up in New York so my mom had a good one about F.A.O. Schwartz — it was a toy *MUSEUM* (I guess I didn’t pay much attention to the cash registers- but I did keep my voice down and would gently pet the life-sized stuffed giraffes thinking it was pretty cool to TOUCH something in a museum!)
I told my daughter that she was collecting her Halloween candy for Mommy when she was 2. She agreed whole-heartedly. However, she must have thought that mommy was going to share, because she ate it.
I use stories with my kids, but not about important things. I would NEVER scare them with monsters. They know that I tease them a lot, but I also tell them the truth when it really matters.