OK…here’s the deal. We haven’t abandoned you. In fact, we love you all deeply. Really…especially you in the thong. That’ a good look for any guy.
But Hannah is knocked up again and for the past several weeks we’ve been scrambling around trying to get our crap in some reasonable order before she explodes. Which, according to people who know about such things, will be in about a month.
Now on to more important matters…TESTICLES! The new baby has a pair, so my world will be less pink and whiny…thank God! In fact, with the additional set of danglers, I’m declaring victory over these frilly broads. Sure, there may be three women in the family, but soon there will be FOUR glorious testicles. Clearly, the men win!
So, what does this mean to you, the loyal and sometimes drunken FamilyHack readers? Well, you’ll have to make do without our brand of internet pablum for a little while longer. After all, Hannah is busy building a mini-me and then I’ll be spending several weeks just staring at my new sons enormous package.
Of course, we’ll be back after the baby dust has cleared. In the meantime you’ll just have to focus on your heroin habit and that fancy new mullet you’ve been working on. It’ll go great with that thong you look so luscious in.
