Comments on: Hidden Dangers

By: sherrie bailey

sherrie bailey — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 19:46:41 +0000

I am a gramma, I know why…..so you can change him into another cute little outfit or cuddly sleeper. Parents are so up-tight. I know I was. This time around, it is quite different, more like playing house, or playing family. I get to change the little dolls clothes again? Goody!

By: kim

kim — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 04:00:51 +0000

Wow. I wish I had had grandparents. Mine died when I was two. My father told me I was particularly close to my red-head grandfather, though I don’t remember. I am partial to red-heads though.
My step-kids grandparents are/were across the country.
My spouse remembers fondly cooking with grandma — and is now a spectacular cook.
Be grateful there is someone who loves your kids. It dilutes the effect of your neuroses on them.

By: cindy

cindy — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 02:58:55 +0000

My grandmother was the most loved person in the world. She meant everything to me and I decided a long time ago that I wanted to be that “kind” of grandma. As a parent I served my dues of telling my children “no” about things even when I really wanted to say “yes” because that was what was best at the time (for the circumstances). I had to deal with the stresses and the temper tantrums , as well as the disappointments. As a grandparent, it is not my job to take over those things. It is the parent’s job to be the “bad guy” and to lay down the rules. I no longer want that job because I paid my dues with this. My job is to give them my undying love and attention and not to blow them off because I don’t want to mess with them. My job is to listen to every word they say and answer every question they have to the best of my ability. My job is to put away the things that I need to get done for the small amount of time they are here and give them my undivided attention for whatever it is that they want to do. I don’t have to give up anything for my grandchildren…I choose to. My life is established and my responsibilities are not like my own children’s. I’m the grandma and that is all I need to be when the grandkids need me.

By: sisterspitfire

sisterspitfire — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 17:29:37 +0000

My father’s parents died when I was too young to remember them, and my mother’s parents were the grandparents I remembered. They had rules, but they also made sure there were special treats both edible and fun. Both of my parents were dead before I ever had children, so my husband’s parents and their spouses were the grandparents for mine. Now the only one left is my ex-mother-in-law, and she is still my friend. Only twice did I have to tell her if she did such-and-such again, she wouldn’t see the kids again. All the rest of the time, I let her spoil them. That’s what grandparents are for. I can remember one time we had gone to watch my then 7th grade daughter receive an award for her short story being published. We stopped at a gas station before we left town, and grandma told the kids she was buying donuts and chips and pop for the trip home, “but don’t tell your dad or he’ll get mad at me”. All our eyes went to my husband standing immediately behind her in line. She flushed, looked back at him, and said “so kill me then”, bought the goodies, and asked the kids right in front of their dad if they wanted to ride with her or dad. Guess which car they chose?!! We still laugh about that one to this day! I heartily reserve the right to spoil my grandkids when I have the privilege of having some!

By: bobd441

bobd441 — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 13:30:20 +0000

Hello ‘c’,
…and all others who believe in a ’sugar rush’ or ’sugar high’,

I have looked into this phenomenon over the years, and found that there really is NOT a chemical or physiological ‘high’ from sugar, other than the excitement of having a treat, and possibly the caffeine content of the treat. Also, a child can pick up or sense their parents’ emotions about this, too.

As an example, check out this link: http://www.madsci.org/posts/archives/2000-01/947564807.Me.r.html

I’m not preaching, here, just trying to dispel the widespread myth.

And the fact that I am a ‘Grampa’ to a 14½-month-old boy, who, by the way, is THE most wonderful, cutest, smartest Grandson EVER, in the history of the world…

Well, I’ll stop now before I start getting ‘jealousy-mail’ from the rest of you. LOL

…just MY 3¢-worth.

By: Diana

Diana — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 18:13:51 +0000

Sure am glad I kept reading, after the first several “anti-grandparent” gripers I was beginning to wonder if I was the only terrific Nana out there. My grandchildren (7&counting) behave better, eat better, travel better, play fewer video games, fight less and in general are all around nicer folks when they’re with me. Not that they don’t have loving wonderful parents-they are my children after all…But the boys know that when Nana says yes/no, she means yes/no. Every summer I take 3 or 4 of them somewhere, just me, no parents, no aunts/uncles, no Boss (grandpa), just me. We’ve been to CA, CO, FL, HI and several places inbetween. We do mountains, beaches, museums, movies, crafts and cooking. The boys are terrific and I try to let them know it every chance I get. My ground rules are simple: manners, hygiene and humanity so conflict with parental rules is minimal. As for the grandparents who wouldn’t lock the pool gate–visiting that grandparent is verboten and the kid that is having a temper tantrum about the gate being locked needs better distraction.
Thanks for a terrific website, so glad I found you!

By: Al Dixon

Al Dixon — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 11:48:57 +0000

I really enjoy this site! As Grandparents, my wife and I have used the noisy toys and “extra batteries” fairly often. We even tell the little ones which package to open first so they see the batteries before Mom & Dad have time to hid them.

We have applied the technique to nieces and nephews as well. My sister is 10 years younger than I and her taste in toys while growing up was typical for any little girl. Basically Barbie. Lots of Barbies. Lots of tiny little Barbie shoes lost in the carpet only to be found by stepping on them in your bare feet in the early hours of the morning when your attention is focused on getting to the bathroom and hoping she’s not already there.

We got her little ones a wonderful “farm set”. What a great play set. It had all the barn yard animals: cows, horses, chickens, even dogs and cats. There were fences and a barn too. And the best part? All 200+ pieces fit into a small bucket the size of a half gallon of ice cream!

She asked me “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???” when the kids opened up the present. I just told her, “Barbie shoes”
-Al

By: Holly

Holly — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 18:02:01 +0000

Carol- YOU are a very SMART mother in law.

Your DIL is super lucky!
When I read the “common enemy” comment, that also struck a chord. Even in jest, it’s a weird thing to even suggest to a kid.

By: Carol

Carol — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 20:19:39 +0000

Face it folks. There are good, smart, ‘clued in’ gps and there are bad, stupid, ‘clueless’ gps. We spoil our gc with love not toys or food. We try not to break mom’s rules without mom’s permission. We know which ones to not even ask about. Sometimes they trick us but not often. We want love AND respect from our gc. Kids are sooooo smart these days, why would you want them to love you beacause you were old & ‘dupeable’? And we certainly don’t want to have the ’same enemy’ as them…what a horrible idea to instill in ANY child. After all, we all want what’s best for them, right. By the way, their other set of gps are like the worst ones listed above. Guess who gets the gc all the time…guess who rarely gets to see them at all. :~)
I have a very smart daughter-in-law and I would never try to tell her how to raise my beautiful gc, even if I wanted to. It’s what she wants that count for HER children. Besides, this makes for great relations with her.

By: Nancy

Nancy — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 17:40:03 +0000

I am sure many of you have heard this before, but I liked it so much I Have it hanging on my wall. I goes like this.

“Grandchildren are your reward for not killing you children when they became teenagers”