Special guests Susie, Jack (and Hannah) help me demonstrate how a damp paper towel can change your life. Well, maybe not change your life, but it will help keep that flexible cutting board from creeping off to Nova Scotia.
Keep Your Cutting Board From Running Away
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{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }
i love your videos. but i was offended and turned OFF by the two sexual bits during the cutting board slipping video. the first where you rubbed your nipples. totally uncalled for in this type of family video. and the other when you where next to your wife at the end, with your face right in her chest. can we please keep these g rated?
Ziggy,
The nipple rub was just me being absurd, not sexual. I wanted to make Hannah laugh. It’s how I keep her married to me. If she stops laughing long enough to realize I’m just a doughy, balding old reprebate, I’m a goner for sure.
As for my “face right in her chest”. It was a hug…spurred by me making her laugh….see how this works?
Finally, though the site may be called “Family Hack”, it’s by adults, for adults. We’re not G rated and never have been. Hell, I drop the “F” bomb in several of our videos.
That said, I’m sorry if I offended you. It certainly was not my intention. It was meant to make you chuckle. Of course, I may not be your cup of tea. Stranger things have happened.
Best,
Michael
Are your kids terribly concerned about getting wedding rings out of the drain, or slippery cutting boards? Are they offended by married people hugging? I think they may be spending too much time on the internet, maybe they could go play outside for a while.
*blink*
no seriously
*blink*
*blink*
Incidentally, Michael? My husband and I both laughed heartily at the nipple rub. Totally didn’t see that coming. I’m hoping he takes notes from you. He’s 20 yrs older than me…..:)
Oh, please. If nothing else, it took a relatively [boring?] informative video, and with those rough cuts, a little of your personality showed through. It totally made me laugh! No one will remember the plain video, but everyone will remember the interesting one! Speaking from a woman’s perspective, a great personality is SO much more important than looks (not that I’m not saying…nothing…) and I know I married my husband because he made me laugh. As for the kids, they will get a model of how a happy marriage SHOULD look, and will grow up with that in mind. How many kids have rolled their eyes when Mom and Dad started smooching? They may have rolled their eyes, but I remember liking that Dad loved Mom and felt good about it. So, Lighten up, Ziggy!
I thought the video was informative. As for the nipple rubbing and hugging your wife, not a darn thing wrong with a sense of humour and love for your wife. The rough cuts at the end were funny. Great job, thanks for sharing.
haha someone has a dirty mind and it isn’t you…hugging your own wife in front of your kids is very healthy and good for the kids…didn’t see anything “sexy” about it…..didn’t even notice you rubbed your nipples…aye yi yi…..good job on the video….
good laugh for a easy sunday morning. the blogs are almost as funny as the video.
Good one, Michael.
ziggy, I hate to bring you down, but I suspect that you were the ONLY one offended, and I really doubt that Michael was TRYING to turn you, or anyone else ON.
Lighten up, life’s too short as it is. Enjoy it all!
One very handy item I use all the time to keep things from skidding in that nice expanded rubberized plastic sink liner that comes in rolls you can cut to any size you need.
As an artist using clay, I often need a very stable tray or slab on which to work, and when teaching classes, my students use segmented food dishes for working and holding scraps of clay in the different segments of the dish, and make it hold still on a table by super-gluing a large piece of that same stuff on the bottom of each tray. Saves a lot of picking up projects and clay bits off the floor!
I use it on all kinds of things……under the tray that holds odds and ends of grooming tools and makeup on my dresser, so the cats don’t skid it off the dresser when wrestling, for instance.
It works under my cutting board, too, and they go right into the dishwasher with the super glue holding the liner in place.
Thanks for keeping us all on an easier path,
Nance Ross
Some people need to take a chill pill! I thought the video was great! Thanks for the laugh! Keep em’ commin’, please! Thanks for sharing.
Hi Davis Family! Happy Father’s Day!
Fun and informative video, well shot!
TERRIFIC camera work! Photog not even visible in the mirror, just the dog!
You made me a bit nervous seeing how you cut that bagel. Your wrist is right there in case of a slip! Look at the video. The heel of your hand is just about on the cutting board! Keep your wrist bent if you do it that way! I know that’s how some ‘pro’s’ do it, but they should know better, too!
Better to hold the bagel vertically, place the knife on top, with your fingers bridging the knife, and slowly draw the knife towards you with a little down-pressure.
…AND KEEP YOUR FINGER OUT OF THE BAGEL HOLE!!
But I don’t want to start a whole ‘thing’ about bagel cutting…!
I’ll shut up now. We’re going out to a REALLY nice steak house for dinner, and I have to put on pants!
TTFN…
As with all your efforts, this one was informative and helpful. My take on your antics….you have a well developed sense of humor, a healthy affection for your wife and enjoy kidding around with your children. In my humble opinion, you will raise normal and happy children. Keep up the good work!
p.s. I have noticed in doughnut shops which serve bagels as a staple breakfast item, an interesting device. It appears to be manufactured from corian? the material used in counter tops you can cut on. The device has a V shape and is wide enough to accept a bagel standing on edge. The knife slides between the gap. The device has to be foolproof since it is used in a national franchised operation and the staff using it would number in the thousands.
..now what was the tip..?? was watching that little cutie behind you – she stole your show.. thank you for the tip! oh you have to keep her on ….
I use one or two of those rubber jar openers that you usually get for free from insurance companies and such that give them away as advertising. They are thin enough that they don’t get in the way, and they also keep the cutting board from moving around. Another hack with those cutting boards is to cut them in half so that you don’t have to use (and clean) one giant cutting board for cutting a small onion, veggies, or bagels. It works great! Funny video, BTW!
Love the video! But now I’m jonesing for a bagel.
or jonesing for a nipple rub. Just kidding, of course. jonesing is a new expression for me. nipple rubbing is not. well, as an expression it is new. What could it be? mating call? Targeting signal? Discreet signal to a nursing mother that she’s starting to leak a bit?
James,
The term ‘jonesing’ means an intense craving, great desire or need for something, originally describing the need for a heroin fix.
It comes from heroin addicts who frequented Great Jones Alley in New York City between Broadway and Lafayette High School.
It can also be used for NON-drug-related things, like jonesing for a bagel or jonesing for a new car.
Does this satisfy your jonesing to know? *G*
trish’s comment reminded me about THIS hack…
Whether the board is wood or plastic, when it gets all scarred up from use, take it out to the garage and hit it with the sander! It will remove the scars and stubborn stains and give you a new surface to work on.
I use a random-orbit sander, first with a coarse grain paper (60-grit), then with a very fine paper (220 grit).
Then, thoroughly wash.
For washing a wood board: Clean the cutting board with a mild soap and water being careful not to saturate the wood as the glue that holds the wood sections together can dissolve causing the sections to separate.
Next rub in small amount of mineral oil with a soft cloth. Wipe any excess off and the cutting board is ready for use.
If the wood is completely dry, it may be necessary to allow the mineral oil to soak into the wood before wiping any excess off.
Don’t use vegetable or olive oil, as they will become rancid.
Well check Bob out. Finding any excuse to use power tools. Gotta love it.
An easier, but much more expensive way, to keep your cutting board from running away is to eat every meal out at Chipotle. =) lol.
Great tip! I’ve been looking at ways to use and store cutting boards today, and also found this fun organizer tip that you might like: http://www.chicaandjo.com/2009/06/15/scrapbook-paper-organizers-in-the-kitchen/
Cool video and awesome site. Unfortunately, I’m too lazy to use a cutting board at all for cutting a bagel. Got a lot of laughs as you sense of humor was expressed here though.
Testing to see if I can get my mug pic to come up here
nipples, yes. mug pic, no. Any suggestions?
The commenter’s photos on Family Hack are pulled from:
http://www.gravatar.com
It’s free to use, easy to set up and once you’re done, most blogs you comment on will automatically display your photo.
Well I started reading your site when My son sent me the vacuum the sink video to remind me that other people were as smart as his Dad.
Your site is one of the best on the web,but as I type at at about ten wpm, I was content to just read, Ziggy O and you changed all that.
After reading the post and your reply I just had to say ” the lady didn’t know she was commenting to someone with intestinal fortitude and thought she could imprint her ideas on your mind. Your answer was a statement to make a person proud and your wife is a very lucky girl, even if she ever stops laughing, I think you will be safe.
Bob
Hopefully the Nova won’t slip off the cutting board….
Cool trick. Good humor. Thanks. I use cutting boards 2-4 times a day. planning to use this trick starting tommrow. As for bagel’s I got a bagel slicer a few years ago after 6 stitches, now I cannot find unsliced bagels anywhere.