Editors Note: This is the second in an ongoing series of interviews with homeschooling families. Our first interview with Jen McKinnon is here. We hope you enjoy their stories as much as we did and if you are a homeschooling family interested in being profiled, please contact us.
Our second interview is with Tara Wagner from TheOrganicSister.com. She and her husband Justin unschool their 10 year old son Zeb.
FAMILY HACK: Please introduce us to your family members–names, ages, and a brief description of personalities, interests, parents’ occupations, etc.–whatever you feel comfortable sharing.
Tara Wagner: My husband Justin was born in WI, but raised in Las Vegas. He works as a finish carpenter in the commercial sector doing lots of pretty work on the giant casinos. Someday he’d like to have a farm and a woodworking shop, but not until after we do some traveling. He’s the most laid-back in our family, but also the most adventerous. He loves homebrewing beer and riding his motorcycle.
I, Tara, was born and raised in Las Vegas. I went to public school until leaving in the 9th grade and deschooling through high school. I worked as an independent massage therapist and owned a massage company, but found much more happiness in choosing to stay home with Zeb. I’m usually the catalyst behind most of our ”beyond crunchy” choices, I live and breathe sustainability, and love photography and blogging.
Zeb is 10 years old and is a 1st grade dropout. He loves computers, video games and LEGOs. He is currently working on a production set for LEGO Star Wars movies and plans to begin making stop-motion animation videos out of his studio (aka, bedroom). He’s also interested in politics and would be happy to tell you his opinion on just about any social matter.
Right now we live in Las Vegas on an “urban homestead” in the making but soon we’ll be packing up and hitting the road in an RV, as we look for a new home and community.
FH: When and how did you first become interested in homeschooling? What factors were involved in your decision to homeschool?
TW: Even though I was technically homeschooled myself, the option never occured to me unti Zeb was struggling in school. It was his unhappiness and our fear of his “record” that first led us to homeschooling. What started as a temporary solution quickly became a lifestyle change as we found unschooling. In school, Zeb was stressed from all the pressure to perform, upset over tasks he saw no purpose in, confused over things he was not yet ready for and discouraged by the teaching methods. He was subject to scrutiny and judgement and folded under the pressure. Having him in a positive, supportive environment that allows us to learn at his pace and focus on his interests has given him room to slowly decompress and branch out. The deschooling process still isn’t over for him but he’s feeling more confident every day.
FH: What was your own educational experience like growing up? How did that experience influence your decision to homeschool your own children?
TW: Justin went through school like most everyone, doing what was needed without questioning too much or finding too much passion and fitting nicely in the average range. I loved grade school and was in the gifted program. Middle school brought about so much peer competition and pressure to fit in that I began to lose interest but it wasn’t until high school that I became bored with the work, disgusted with the environment and frustrated over the school’s indifference of either problem that I left.
At the time Zeb started school, very little of this was taken into account. In our minds, school was just what you did. But looking back we can see how school shaped our thoughts of ourselves, limited our ideas of what was possible and boxed us in. I wish I had been introduced to these thoughts when Zeb was younger but am glad we recognized the same things happening to him at school. It all played a part in our decision to unschool.
FH: How would you describe your homeschooling philosophy? Do you use a specific method or curriculum?
TW: We are unschoolers – living and learning without the use of curricula. We’ve found he learns best when we set up an environment that is conducive to growth, facilitate his learning by providing resources and experiences and then get out of his way. We build off his interests, and allow him to explore without time constraints or limits. Unschooling has empowered his sense of responsibility, freedom, respect and self-discipline. It’s also inspired us, as parents, to explore our own interests and have more fun.
Unschooling takes a large amount of faith and trust, as well as dedication and work on our part as parents. But living and learning together in a fun and interesting way has changed our relationships and our lives.
FH: Do you belong to any homeschool organizations?
TW: Not at this time but I’m hoping to begin working with a local group in establishing an educational resource center for homeschoolers in Las Vegas.
FH: Do you meet with other homeschoolers on a regular basis?
TW: Yes! We meet every week with our local unschooling group and spend the entire day playing at the park together. I’m not sure where I’d be without the wonderful support for the local mamas, papas and kids in our group. We also visit museums, zoos and other places of interest, participate in a hiking group, occassionally go indoor rock climbing, and meet for an annual camping trip with our local group, as well as go to nationwide unschooling gatherings.
FH: What educational opportunities or resources in your community have you made use of?”
TW: The library is on the top of the list, of course. In addition to their books and DVDs, we love to attend the free art exhibits, and community activities they offer. We also enjoy our local museums and facilities such as Springs Preserve or Gilcrease Nature Sanctuary. And being Vegas, we get to visit the numerous offerings of the strip and its many traveling events. We also love the Civil war reenactments, and the Ren Fair. We’ve volunteered in reestablishing habitat in a local marsh and Zeb volunteers regularly with his Grandma for Ronald McDonald House.
FH: Do you have a daily homeschool routine or does your daily schedule vary from day to day?
TW: Unschooling’s day-to-day routine looks a lot like anyone else’s Saturday or summer vacation. We get up when we feel rested, anywhere between 6am and 10am, eat when we’re hungry and pursue our interests in between. There are certain things we routinely do, but very little is scheduled.
FH: What does a typical day and/or week look like for your family?
TW: A typical day usually begins with Justin off to work before we’re awake. I’m usually up before Zeb and head out to the garden before it gets too hot to water, prune, harvest or feed the tortoises and chickens. Zeb and I usually spend our mornings online – blogging, playing World of Warcraft, watching YouTube videos or reading articles. We usually are back and forth from each other’s computers to share something cool or interesting or discuss something one of us is reading.
Then we might play games, build LEGOs, cook or bake something, clean up the house, listen to music, go to the library, visit a museum, go for a hike, ask and Google questions, play djembes (African drums), go to the park, visit family members, veg out, watch a movie, read, collect eggs, take and edit photos, color, draw or paint.
FH: What have you found most rewarding about homeschooling?
TW: Flexibility! We recently made the decision to sell our home and RV around the country for a year or more. That is something we’d never had the courage or ability to do without unschooling inspiring us to follow our own dreams. On top of that is the way it has helped us be better to each other – it’s not easy being around each other all day if we don’t enjoy each other’s company. Unschooling has also given us the courage to question everything and find solutions that may be outside the “norm” but work perfectly well for all of us.
FH: What have you found most challenging about homeschooling? What are the biggest stressors in trying to do a good job of homeschooling your children?
TW: Unschooling came naturally for us and hasn’t given us many challenges, at least in relation to his education. We see him learning and growing all the time and the proof is evident. However, unschooling challenges us to trust our child and parent from that place of trust. Trustful parenting didn’t come easy for us. As John Holt said “To trust children we must first learn to trust ourselves, and most of us were taught as children that we could not be trusted.”
Because unschooling and homeschooling requires you to spend a lot of time with your kids, it’s important to build healthy, respectful relationships. And since we came from typical upbringings, this forced us to re-examine our parenting skills and make some very important changes that we were able to ignore when he went to school.
FH: How has your homeschooling experience differed from your expectations?
TW: Hmm, I think we thought deschooling would take the “one month per year of school” as suggested. But for us deschooling really means healing from a traumatic experience, which we now realize doesn’t come with a formula or time-frame. Also, in the very beginning, I thought we’d be doing school-at-home. We tried it with Zeb but it just doesn’t fit his learning style.
And I don’t think I ever considered the possibility of how life-changing it would be. I assumed it would fit into our life at that time but instead it turned everything on its head, made us rethink our goals and refocus our priorities.
FH: If you have been homeschooling for several years, what changes have you found yourself making as you discover more about your kids as learners, and rethink educational goals and methods?
TW: All of the changes Justin and I made have been internal as we’ve grown to understand our own personalities better. We’ve been able to pinpoint our strengths and work to accept our weaknesses. We’ve been more flexible and willing to try new things. I’ve discovered our learning styles as well as our ”doing” styles (Justin is a visual-tactile learner who maps everything in his head then sits back and relaxes; I am tactile-verbal, have to discuss everything and write it all out; Zeb is kinesthetic-audible, learns through questions and answers and prefers group participation to working alone). All of our changes have been in finding ways to work with ourselves and each other, rather than against our own natures.
FH: Do you have a long-term plan for how long you will homeschool?
TW: For as long as Zeb is happy. We trust his choices and if at any time he decides to choose school we will fully support his decision.
FH: How has homeschooling affected your lives as parents? How do you balance homeschooling with your own need for grown-up time?
TW: As I mentioned before, we’re much better parents now – more patient, more accepting, more trusting. Spending all day with someone is the best motivation to creating healthy relationships. We enjoy the time we spend with Zeb and don’t differentiate between grown-up time and family-time. But as individuals, we all need time to ourselves or away from each other. Zeb spends most Friday afternoons with his Grandma, and plans sleepovers regularly with friends. Justin and I use that time to go on a date, visit friends, catch up on quiet time or sleep, or just relax alone or together.
FH: What challenges and benefits have you found in homeschooling more than one child? How has your family’s particular combination of ages, genders, personalities, interests, etc., shaped your homeschool as a whole?
TW: One of the challenges to having an only child is that Zeb doesn’t have a built-in playmate. He’s always been an independent child so it’s never been much of an issue until recently as he desires more than mom and dad to hang around. So we schedule regular playdates and sleepovers and maintain as much of a social life as any one of us can stand. Because we all have different social needs (introvert, extrovert, highly sensitive people, etc) it’s sometimes a balancing act. Pursuing our own individual interests and respecting each other’s boundaries takes practice but certainly creates an environment of trust.
FH: How do you make homeschooling work for your family’s schedule and lifestyle? Has a parent’s work/schedule changed to accommodate homeschooling? Does a parent work from home?
TW: I owned a massage therapy company prior to unschooling and sold it shortly after withdrawing Zeb from school. Since then I’ve worked off and on as a massage therapist, seeing private clients on occasion. Sometimes it’s a balancing act with our schedules but usually it’s dealt with like anything else – with flexibility. Justin’s work in construction means he’s usually home by early afternoon which opens up a lot of time to play or go places together. But because we don’t follow a rigid plan, and because we use every experience to learn from, it all becomes another educational moment.
FH: What, if any, misunderstandings about homeschooling have you encountered from your family, friends, neighbors, etc.
TW: Most people express concerns from a place of love. They only want what is best and have little understanding of unschooling or its possibilities. We’ve been told unschooling is a “detriment to society”, that Zeb will not be able to find a job, that he’s missing out on learning to handle bullies or go to the prom, and that he couldn’t possibly learn trigonomotry without public school. Sometimes I try to educate them on our methods and choices, sometimes I validate their fears and assure them I’m keeping a close eye on his “progress”, and sometimes I just agree to disagree and go on our merry way.
FH: How do you answer questions about your kids “socialization” ?
TW: Usually with something snarky like “I’d rather my son not learn his social skills from 30 other ten year olds.” Usually if they’ve met him, they know he’s well “socialized”, so the topic rarely comes up.
FH: What encouraging signs have you seen that homeschooling will prepare your children well for adulthood?
TW: Zeb is very confident in his choices. He doesn’t allow anyone to make choices for him and he always advocates for the little guy. He’s strongly opinionated and knows what he believes and why. He’s kind, gets along easily in most crowds and absorbs interesting information easily. I have no idea what he’ll choose to do at any time in his life but I wouldn’t be surprised if he was involved in helping people, working with animals or involved in politics. If he’s anything like us, he probably won’t settle on doing one thing.
FH: If you could pick a famous person, living or dead, to homeschool your kids for the day, who would you choose and why?
TW: Oh tough question! I guess it would depend on what week it was. This week I’d have to say someone like George Washington or Ron Paul, since he’s been immensely interested in politics and our political history. Maybe Steven Spielberg last week when he was working on creating his movies. And Jane Goodall, Michael Pollan or Rachel Carson for the times he’s worried about the environment, animals and his role in it all.
FH: What is your homeschool “dream scenario”?–if time, place, money, location, etc., were no object…
TW: Selling most of what we own, buying an old Winnebago and traveling the country for awhile. Wait! We’re about to do that next spring! Well, I’ll tack on traveling the world, too. 
This is an ongoing series. Our first interview with Jen McKinnon is here. If you are a homeschooling family interested in being profiled, please contact us.
{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m sorry but since when do children run one’s house and know what’s best as fas as his or her education goes?? My question is, is Zeb educated? Can he do math? Is he a good reader? Has he been exposed to the classic books? Does he know anything about science? I mean all of the things is parents are doing are great but those things should be done in addition to Zeb being educated, not instead of. This is very scary to me and makes me very frightened about the future of our country.
I was a single parent and my daughter was not into school very much after middle school but we think she may have a learning disability that was never diagnosed. She was tested and diagnosed with ADD but none of the meds ever worked. She earned a scholarship to college but blew it her first year by not doing homework, etc. We saw many of her rich friends who “ran their parents’ house” and how ridiculous it is when one allows a CHILD to dictate what the parents do ( unless the child is severely ill or handicapped). A parent is supposed to be a parent, not another child letting his kid do whatever he wants to instead of getting an education. I just think this is a very bad approach for a child’s education and well-being in general.
Yes, because if your child doesn’t like being shoved into a cookie cutter, then THEY must have a disorder. It can’t be that the SCHOOL isn’t a good fit.
My question to Becky is this: Since when does allowing your child’s interests to lead their education equal NOT learning things like math and reading? Seriously? LIFE REQUIRES for you to know these things, and it’s been proven time and time again, that when kids are allowed to learn at their own pace, they tend to catch onto and become ::gasp:: INTERESTED in learning those things!
I guess I’ll quit here. I am at a loss as to what to say, and unsure whether Becky really wants to UNDERSTAND the differences in Tara’s parenting style or just wants to feel better by making blanket judgment statements.
Zeb does not run our house. I’m not sure what I might have said to imply such. We treat him with the same respect we treat each other, and in return he treats us the same. That includes the same privileges, as well as the same responsibility for respect and care. It’s consensual living, not permissive parenting.
I do believe he knows best what he needs to learn. And he learns it. To answer your questions: He is a fantastic reader, well ahead of his age. He knows math because it is all around him and in everything he does; he wants to learn math because it affects his life, not because he’s told he has to. He’s read classics from Little House to The Call of the Wild to Harry Potter, because he loves the stories or the history, not because it’s assigned to him in school. Science is an interest but not a passion, so while he plays and experiments it’s not a goal of his at this time. His passion is computers – he’s learning to program, types faster than I do and is more proficient in a field most adults still can’t grasp.
But the real question is: who decides the definition of “educated”. Ask 100 different people from professors to artists to businessman and they will all have a different answer. That because different fields require different skills – from social to reading to creativity. And it’s great that so many people have so many different opinions! Diversity is what makes this world interesting!
To us, “educated” is a by-product of an interesting life. It’s what you get when a child keeps interested in the world around them, forever exploring and questioning. But far before a goal of “educated,” we have a goal if raising a child who is emotionally intelligent, caring, kind, generous, and who knows himself. And those are all things we see. His “well-being” is far more intact than it ever was in private school. Ironically, his “education” is, too.
I’m not saying our way of life is for everyone. I am saying it works very well for us.
Well said! I consider everything I’ve learned in life to be my education, from the classroom to self-taught to travelling. Just because it isn’t “formal” doesn’t mean it isn’t worth anything! When I FINALLY felt I was in charge of my education I was 25 years old. That’s when I took the plunge and studied something that was my passion–photography–instead of what I thought I was “supposed” to learn. I would have taken up photography when I was a young child if I knew I had the power to choose what I wanted to learn.
yes, there is a big difference between taking a child’s individuality into consideration, letting them make some decisions about their own life, etc., and letting them run the household. i see no evidence that Tara is doing the latter.
one of the biggest factors in the success of a child’s education is the involvement, enthusiasm, responsiveness, and creativity of the parents. this doesn’t only apply to homeschooling, but to public and private school as well. just ask any teacher–parental involvement will surely be forefront in their mind. Zeb is at an advantage in this area, regardless of anyone’s feelings about particular educational methods.
i agree 100% with Tara’s comments about what it means to be educated. on the much more basic, practical level though, i would remind everyone that, however imperfect the systems might be, there are legal safegaurds in place to keep parents from neglecting their childrens educational needs. if a homeschooled child is being deprived of an adequate education, that will show up in testing or other evaluation, and the parents will be forced to change their methods or send the child to school.
i love Tara’s examples of things Zeb learns because he is interested or they affect his life. that is what unschooling is about: it isn’t not learning, it’s about learning in context.
I don’t normally comment on these types of things but this time I feel I have no choice. This article is supposed to be about how you homeschool, yet all I read is you are enabling your 10 year old to basically have summer vacation year round and decide what and when he wants to learn. It is tripe like this that makes it difficult for other homeschooling families to be taken seriously when discussing the choices that led to a more organic approach to teaching our children. A 10 year old is not capable of directing their education (and from the sounds of it neither is Mom), the fact that you position your daily routine as “your average Saturday” is astonishing. I understand and support your decision to pull your child from a standardized schooling regime and to address his particular learning style, but a child that age needs structure and framework and at least some cursory (and measurable) education plan. I am not advocating for a strict, planned curriculum as I see that as fundamentally flawed but the nonchalant approach is completely irresponsible for that age group. I hope that between sleeping in, WoW and “asking Google” you can find time to teach him how to say “Would you like fries with that?”.
Steve, there are plenty of college educated folks working in jobs on the “Would you like fries with that” level and plenty of folks w/ min. formal education who are leading fantastic and amazing lives.
I feel strongly that we do ourselves as a homeschooling community a grave disservice when we write/talk in ways that create divisions amongst ourselves. Judgments are not what we are here to do – we are here to learn from each other, taking what may work for our family and leaving the rest.
Homeschooling is not unschooling and visa versa. I feel strongly that the perceptions created by such a patently irresponsible view point, and the casual and almost rebellious nature in which it is presented, do the “community” far more disservice than any divisions created by debate. It is views similar to hers that are the reason that states like California effectively persecute families that chose to homeschool. Unschooling is for parents that are too lazy to be bothered to make an honest effort at providing their children a structured education, yes that is a divisive opinion and it strikes a nerve due to the simple truth of the statement. It is in no way shape or form schooling of any type (hence the UN at the beginning). She obviously takes great pride in being “beyond granola” and I would suggest that her attitude and approach are basically a childish attempt at “sticking it to the man” and “the establishment” at the sacrifice of making homeschoolers everywhere look like her compatriots.
Her son may grow up to cure cancer, may someday graduate with a doctorate from MIT or may even be President. I wish that family success in achieving their goals and support their ability to make that choice and follow it to whatever end it may lead them to. But I hold firm in my belief that attitudes similar to those that she convey’s do measurable and substantial harm to a movement that needs less “granola” and more substance. Stories like hers are manna from heaven for teachers unions and politicians trying to persuade the publicly “educated” masses that homeschooling isn’t real schooling. She could just as easily have presented her views in a far less controversial way while still providing some valuable insight into the choices she has made.
Why is it important to you that the public masses be persuaded that homeschooling is ‘real’ schooling? It’s not to me, just like it’s not important that I read books or watch movies that the public thinks is good & worthwhile.
We can agree on one point – unschooling is not homeschooling and vice versa. Unschooling definitely has nothing to do with school – just like learning has nothing to do with school or a formal curriculum.
You also may want to learn more about unschooling (or if you’d prefer, ‘lifelearning’) families in general – the last word that can be used to describe us is ‘lazy.’ It can be argued that parents who pick a curriculum and follow lessons are the lazy ones – there’s not a whole lot of effort and thinking involved with following a curriculum.
The need for a formal curriculum buys into one of the fallacies of schooling – the nonsense about a well-rounded education. Knowing a lot of disparate stuff is pointless if there’s nothing that one is deeply passionate about. Would you rather learn/do something with a passion or be exceptional at Trivial Pursuit?
Thanks Arp for being far more eloquent than I was
If you had read my original post I clearly indicated that I am not positioning a formal curriculum as I agree that approach is fundamentally flawed.
Younger children need structured learning, structure does not mean formal. I am all for organic learning but “unschooling” is lack of structure for the sake of it, it completely devalues the use of any curriculum and puts the child in control of their education at an age when a child is not capable of making informed choices. I say “structure” and you hear “shackles”. One can follow many of the great ideas behind unschooling within a structured approach. Unschooling, and the mindset you seem to be advocating, remains irresponsible in the face of growing government oversight over how we all raise our children. You may not care what others think, but those others are the ones that vote in the politicians and school boards that make our lives difficult for choosing a better way to educate our children. Move to California and try “unschooling” your kids. When CPS comes and takes them away and arrests you simply for not sending your kids off to be indoctrinated, you may think differently about the importance of how others view your choices.
Unschooling seems an all-or-nothing approach, very anarchistic. Homeschooling, done with a focus on organic, yet structured, lifelearning is inclusive of what many of you are doing without a gross prejudice towards curricula.
You claim to believe in the idea of an organic approach with a ‘cursory’ framework. But it is impossible to take you seriously when you preceded that with ‘A 10 year old is not capable of directing their education.’ Exactly how ‘organic’ is a 10 year old’s learning allowed to be, in your eyes?
And what is the point of a ‘cursory’ framework anyway? Why bother if you are going to take an ‘organic’ approach?
But again, we have a point we can agree on – unschooling is an all or nothing approach. There is no half-assed in-between. You either trust your child or you don’t. I know that letting go and learning to trust is not easy – I did not begin this journey as an unschooler and never even imagined homeschooling growing up (I didn’t even know it existed). 3 years ago, I did NOT trust my children to learn without guidance. Meeting an amazing, inspiring unschooling parent & her teenage daughter was a turning point for me.
It’s interesting that you use ‘anarchistic’ to describe the unschooling approach. It sounds like you value order & organization much more than you are letting on. You should be aware that there is a method to our madness
Order and organization is personal preference, with 5 kids and a farm I have neither in measurable quantities.
I trust my children to learn without guidance, BUT there are certain subjects where guidance is helpful (and in some cases a must). I trust that my children will benefit from some structure to their learning (and their daily routine and life in general) given the chaos that is a part of normal life (at least in our home).
I think the catalyst in some of the responses to the parent thread is the viewpoints coming from parents with older children. A teenager (or even pre-teen) is far more capable of providing some direction in terms of their interests and learning styles and IMO is far better suited to “your madness” (which was a most appropriate description of your myopic views).
Steve,
I appreciate your comments. And I can say I have at one point wondered the same things. I guess the difference would be I didn’t form an opinion of something I had no experience of, and my own turning point in understanding was in meeting and seeing firsthand what unschooling looks like and the kids that emerge from it.
You keep coming back to “structure” so I’ll start there. I do agree that most kids do need “structure,” but I’d wager our ideas of what that means are two different things. We see structure as stability and routine. Stability comes from a strong family unit and a safe environment. Without those two things, unschooling would be difficult; kids need stability and safety at home before they can feel safe to explore the world. Routine also helps create stability and a sense of safety.
All people – not just younger children – are in need of a structure. But I don’t agree with “structure” as a synonym for “control.” Our brains do not work within a linear fashion and I don’t see how forcing a predetermined structure of learning will change that. (Think of the baby learning to talk – there is little rhyme or reason to how they do it, except to say it seems they first learn the words that mean the most to them – mama, dada and so on.) Structure is an invention of schooling, necessary to track the progress of large numbers of people. Given the right environment (an interesting environment with the freedom to explore) I simply haven’t found it necessary in our lives, and have witnessed it firsthand as detrimental.
My other comment is in regards to the “anarchistic” or “granola” comments. It seems as if you have a predetermined view that we’re just an anti-establishment, hippie family trying to ’stick it to the man’. While I won’t say we don’t often joke about it (we do seem to fit that mold, don’t we?) I will say your comments are coming off more as a personal vendetta against what you disagree with, rather than an intelligent, well-thought and open discussion. I love discussions, but the venom is unnecessary in making your point.
There will always be differences of opinion; homeschooling is too closely related to parenting for there to not be riffs. But the struggle to protect the rights of homeschooling should have less to do with education and much more to do with an individual’s right to raise their children free from oversight. And you can’t expect your own rights to be protected without protecting the rights of your (sometimes crazy) neighbors.
As for everything else, it’s laughable to think we’re raising our child in a hands-off, casual, lazy, unstructured or irresponsible way (did I miss any?). That’s unparenting, not unschooling. Unschooling requires a parent to be more involved, more hands-on, more engaged in the day-to-day. It means creating an environment conducive to exploration. It means understanding and trusting the innate curiosity of all human beings, but most especially children. We are orchestrators and facilitators of learning. There is no “gross prejudice” towards curricula; there is only a gross prejudice against coercion – the only thing I’ve seen get in the way of my child’s learning.
Hi Tara,
Thanks for the reply. It seems that you all (mis)read my use of the word “structure” as “control”, I did not once imply that in any of my posts (quite the opposite in fact). In fact, I am beginning to wonder if any of you were able to read past the “lazy” comment. I do like your use of the word routine, though I did purposefully avoid using it. The word “routine” is far more like “control” and speaks to a restrictive and far more dictated type of process. I think we are speaking the same language with regards to routine, though from your interview the only routine you seemed to speak of is the staunch refusal to have one. I also was very clear that I support your right to teach your children as you see fit, regardless of how crazy it may be perceived. I remain steadfast in my belief that the “granola” is disruptive to wider adoption of a homeschooling (or unschooling) mindset and that you could be far more effective in communicating your views with a slightly modified approach that doesn’t make you sound like an angry rebel shaking your collective fists at a system that few consider broken.
As far as being in your shoes, unfortunately my children have never been subjected to traditional schooling so I am unable to understand some of the emotions and perspectives that likely have colored your experience. In my researching “unschooling” there seems a common denominator that most proponents have a background littered with “schooling” baggage. Held in that light I can understand some of the vitriol driving the discourse, perhaps that emotion is what I am misreading as anarchy (though I wasn’t speaking directly of you when I said that, more of the unschooling movement as a whole). Most “unschoolers” I have read seem like they have never really moved past the bad schooling experiences and are determined to hold on to that negative experience and wear it like some weird badge of … well I don’t know what, but it doesn’t strike me as emotionally healthy. “My child is a first grade drop-out”. Who says that with any measure of pride? None of my kids were ever in the first grade because we have never cared enough about what first grade meant to try and box any of them into that mold. That, in my mind, is the big difference between homeschooling and unschooling and why I find the association between to the two somewhat offensive.
I doubt you would find a family more “anti-establishment” than ours, but there is something to be said for keeping the crazy at home and presenting a moderated front when trying to position radical ideas. Any “venom” you may have misperceived in my comments was directed squarely at the casual, flippant and irresponsible presentation of “unschooling” in what was titled a “homeschooling” article, not the way you have chosen to educate your child. You and your family sound well on your way to a level of personal fulfillment that few other families will enjoy, or can even comprehend. As I stated previously, I wish you success in achieving your goals and hope that perhaps my words will come to mind the next time you are telling someone about your “average Saturday” experience.
A very well argued and cogent debate. Never mind who is right or wrong, I am encouraged in my choice not to send my 12 day-old to school (in the not too distant future :p)
It is refreshing to come upon a family who home educate in a simlilar way to ourselves.
Our three sons have never been to school and probably never will.
They are all bright, read well, and do all the basics proficiently. However, they have more: they are all following their passions in the fields of art, computers, ornithology and much, much more…..
They love to learn.
Check out John Taylor Gatto http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/
‘Weapons of Mass Instruction’
and
‘Dumbing us Down’
I don’t normally comment on things I read on the web, either. When my son was 8 years old, and acted in 18 performances of a play, the #1 worst audience was the group of home-schooled children. They, and thier parents talked throughout the entire play – not in whispers, either. The best behaved audiences were those from public schools, where the teachers were not afraid to remove a student from the audience so everyone else could enjoy the play without disruption.
Funny, I’ve heard the exact opposite in my town. The homeschoolers are the most well behaved and the school kids are not. It must have to do with your particular area. I wouldn’t use it to generalize.
In school “sitting down and shutting your mouth” is important.
It’s so interesting in reading these comments how angry people get about home/unschooling. It’s threatening to challenge the status quo. I listened to Astra Taylor’s speech on YouTube (she was unschooled until she went to public high school – and got accepted into Brown for those who seem to think that kind of thing isn’t possible). Colleges LOVE home/unschooled children because they know how to think for themselves and they are highly educated. I first began to overlook my prejudices and understand more about homeschooling when I kept reading about kids who had started amazing foundations/organizations that were changing the world and I realized they had all been homeschooled. Not that aren’t amazing people coming out of public/private schools also. I know how damaged I was by public school and I’m not sure I want to subject my child to the same thing. I am fascinated by the concept of unschooling and am slowly learning more and building my faith. Part of me feels I should get into the public school system and try to change it, part of me wants to do what I think is best for my child. Thanks to Family Hack for this blog series and Tara for talking about what you do and how you do it. RV’ing around the continent with my family has long been one of my dreams!
I look back on much of my schooling as “the wasted years”. While I learnt a few essential skills, most of it was inefficient and essentially child-minding. I feel angry about that. I want my son to have a better experience of childhood.
Thanks for sharing your educational philosophies. Your ability to think way outside the box will result in Zeb becoming a person of true passion. Someone who follows his own intuition rather than having it squashed out of him due to a clear educational path which does not diverge. I’m sure he will find his calling and direction because he has been allowed to listen to his inner voice and he knows how to TRULY learn, not just scan things in a textbook or memorize things from a teacher’s lecture. I believe that anything that wants or needs to be learned can be found through living life or on the internet or at a research library. There is not some sort of exclusive knowledge that any elementary or high school teacher has that can only be gained from that particular person. Times are changing and we are now in a technological age, and Zeb’s learning path is allowing him to keep up with those changes, rather than being forced to learn . And if a more interactive level of understanding is needed, say he wants to learn trigonometry, in a few years he will be able to enroll in a course at any community college to learn the skill in that way. I believe his educational opportunities are indeed endless.
I don’t usually comment on these things either, but I just wanted to say that this interview was so lovely. Zeb is a lucky kid to be able to find his own interests and take the lead with support from the people who love him and know him best.
I understand people not being down with unschooling, but I certainly don’t understand where their anger and judgment comes from. If you don’t like it, don’t do it.
I found this interview because of a link posted in a Yahoo Group for unschoolers that I belong to. We’ve just started unschooling after years & years of major damage from public schooling became too unbearable for my 16 year old daughter. She’s a much happier & well-adjusted young woman now, but I have a feeling that she will be in deschooling mode for years.
Thank you for this great interview, it gives me such hope!
Keep it up Tara,Justin and Zeb your doing a fantastic job. Stick to your dream. You’ll have you doubters and your supporters, but your out comes will speaks for themselves.
Skipping my opinions since they’re irrelevant to your child, just had to share we’re going full time in an rv around the country too! The kids can’t wait to see & learn about the US first hand! Maybe we’ll see you on the road one day.
We who have made the decision to home/unschool, know first-hand how challenging it can be and as examples for families new to homeschooling, wouldn’t it be better to simply be respectful of other families and the manner in which they do so? I think homeschooling and unschooling have more similarities than we might realize – there’s alot of hairsplitting over “words”here – ie “granola”, “average Saturday” – who really cares what anyone who is affiliated with “institutionalization” thinks anyway? – (Unless you are unlucky enough to live somewhere where laws prohibit homeschooling) – otherwise, live and let live. Less hostility and more unification – we deal with enough negativity from people who are anti-home/un-school, don’t we? There’s plenty of manifested division without our community contributing to it.
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