Editors Note: This is the second in an ongoing series of interviews with homeschooling families. Our first interview with Jen McKinnon is here. We hope you enjoy their stories as much as we did and if you are a homeschooling family interested in being profiled, please contact us.
Our second interview is with Tara Wagner from TheOrganicSister.com. She and her husband Justin unschool their 10 year old son Zeb.
FAMILY HACK: Please introduce us to your family members–names, ages, and a brief description of personalities, interests, parents’ occupations, etc.–whatever you feel comfortable sharing.
Tara Wagner: My husband Justin was born in WI, but raised in Las Vegas. He works as a finish carpenter in the commercial sector doing lots of pretty work on the giant casinos. Someday he’d like to have a farm and a woodworking shop, but not until after we do some traveling. He’s the most laid-back in our family, but also the most adventerous. He loves homebrewing beer and riding his motorcycle.
I, Tara, was born and raised in Las Vegas. I went to public school until leaving in the 9th grade and deschooling through high school. I worked as an independent massage therapist and owned a massage company, but found much more happiness in choosing to stay home with Zeb. I’m usually the catalyst behind most of our ”beyond crunchy” choices, I live and breathe sustainability, and love photography and blogging.
Zeb is 10 years old and is a 1st grade dropout. He loves computers, video games and LEGOs. He is currently working on a production set for LEGO Star Wars movies and plans to begin making stop-motion animation videos out of his studio (aka, bedroom). He’s also interested in politics and would be happy to tell you his opinion on just about any social matter.
Right now we live in Las Vegas on an “urban homestead” in the making but soon we’ll be packing up and hitting the road in an RV, as we look for a new home and community.
FH: When and how did you first become interested in homeschooling? What factors were involved in your decision to homeschool?
TW: Even though I was technically homeschooled myself, the option never occured to me unti Zeb was struggling in school. It was his unhappiness and our fear of his “record” that first led us to homeschooling. What started as a temporary solution quickly became a lifestyle change as we found unschooling. In school, Zeb was stressed from all the pressure to perform, upset over tasks he saw no purpose in, confused over things he was not yet ready for and discouraged by the teaching methods. He was subject to scrutiny and judgement and folded under the pressure. Having him in a positive, supportive environment that allows us to learn at his pace and focus on his interests has given him room to slowly decompress and branch out. The deschooling process still isn’t over for him but he’s feeling more confident every day.
FH: What was your own educational experience like growing up? How did that experience influence your decision to homeschool your own children?
TW: Justin went through school like most everyone, doing what was needed without questioning too much or finding too much passion and fitting nicely in the average range. I loved grade school and was in the gifted program. Middle school brought about so much peer competition and pressure to fit in that I began to lose interest but it wasn’t until high school that I became bored with the work, disgusted with the environment and frustrated over the school’s indifference of either problem that I left.
At the time Zeb started school, very little of this was taken into account. In our minds, school was just what you did. But looking back we can see how school shaped our thoughts of ourselves, limited our ideas of what was possible and boxed us in. I wish I had been introduced to these thoughts when Zeb was younger but am glad we recognized the same things happening to him at school. It all played a part in our decision to unschool.
FH: How would you describe your homeschooling philosophy? Do you use a specific method or curriculum?
TW: We are unschoolers – living and learning without the use of curricula. We’ve found he learns best when we set up an environment that is conducive to growth, facilitate his learning by providing resources and experiences and then get out of his way. We build off his interests, and allow him to explore without time constraints or limits. Unschooling has empowered his sense of responsibility, freedom, respect and self-discipline. It’s also inspired us, as parents, to explore our own interests and have more fun.
Unschooling takes a large amount of faith and trust, as well as dedication and work on our part as parents. But living and learning together in a fun and interesting way has changed our relationships and our lives.
FH: Do you belong to any homeschool organizations?
TW: Not at this time but I’m hoping to begin working with a local group in establishing an educational resource center for homeschoolers in Las Vegas.
FH: Do you meet with other homeschoolers on a regular basis?
TW: Yes! We meet every week with our local unschooling group and spend the entire day playing at the park together. I’m not sure where I’d be without the wonderful support for the local mamas, papas and kids in our group. We also visit museums, zoos and other places of interest, participate in a hiking group, occassionally go indoor rock climbing, and meet for an annual camping trip with our local group, as well as go to nationwide unschooling gatherings.
FH: What educational opportunities or resources in your community have you made use of?”
TW: The library is on the top of the list, of course. In addition to their books and DVDs, we love to attend the free art exhibits, and community activities they offer. We also enjoy our local museums and facilities such as Springs Preserve or Gilcrease Nature Sanctuary. And being Vegas, we get to visit the numerous offerings of the strip and its many traveling events. We also love the Civil war reenactments, and the Ren Fair. We’ve volunteered in reestablishing habitat in a local marsh and Zeb volunteers regularly with his Grandma for Ronald McDonald House.
FH: Do you have a daily homeschool routine or does your daily schedule vary from day to day?
TW: Unschooling’s day-to-day routine looks a lot like anyone else’s Saturday or summer vacation. We get up when we feel rested, anywhere between 6am and 10am, eat when we’re hungry and pursue our interests in between. There are certain things we routinely do, but very little is scheduled.
FH: What does a typical day and/or week look like for your family?
TW: A typical day usually begins with Justin off to work before we’re awake. I’m usually up before Zeb and head out to the garden before it gets too hot to water, prune, harvest or feed the tortoises and chickens. Zeb and I usually spend our mornings online – blogging, playing World of Warcraft, watching YouTube videos or reading articles. We usually are back and forth from each other’s computers to share something cool or interesting or discuss something one of us is reading.
Then we might play games, build LEGOs, cook or bake something, clean up the house, listen to music, go to the library, visit a museum, go for a hike, ask and Google questions, play djembes (African drums), go to the park, visit family members, veg out, watch a movie, read, collect eggs, take and edit photos, color, draw or paint.
FH: What have you found most rewarding about homeschooling?
TW: Flexibility! We recently made the decision to sell our home and RV around the country for a year or more. That is something we’d never had the courage or ability to do without unschooling inspiring us to follow our own dreams. On top of that is the way it has helped us be better to each other – it’s not easy being around each other all day if we don’t enjoy each other’s company. Unschooling has also given us the courage to question everything and find solutions that may be outside the “norm” but work perfectly well for all of us.
FH: What have you found most challenging about homeschooling? What are the biggest stressors in trying to do a good job of homeschooling your children?
TW: Unschooling came naturally for us and hasn’t given us many challenges, at least in relation to his education. We see him learning and growing all the time and the proof is evident. However, unschooling challenges us to trust our child and parent from that place of trust. Trustful parenting didn’t come easy for us. As John Holt said “To trust children we must first learn to trust ourselves, and most of us were taught as children that we could not be trusted.”
Because unschooling and homeschooling requires you to spend a lot of time with your kids, it’s important to build healthy, respectful relationships. And since we came from typical upbringings, this forced us to re-examine our parenting skills and make some very important changes that we were able to ignore when he went to school.
FH: How has your homeschooling experience differed from your expectations?
TW: Hmm, I think we thought deschooling would take the “one month per year of school” as suggested. But for us deschooling really means healing from a traumatic experience, which we now realize doesn’t come with a formula or time-frame. Also, in the very beginning, I thought we’d be doing school-at-home. We tried it with Zeb but it just doesn’t fit his learning style.
And I don’t think I ever considered the possibility of how life-changing it would be. I assumed it would fit into our life at that time but instead it turned everything on its head, made us rethink our goals and refocus our priorities.
FH: If you have been homeschooling for several years, what changes have you found yourself making as you discover more about your kids as learners, and rethink educational goals and methods?
TW: All of the changes Justin and I made have been internal as we’ve grown to understand our own personalities better. We’ve been able to pinpoint our strengths and work to accept our weaknesses. We’ve been more flexible and willing to try new things. I’ve discovered our learning styles as well as our ”doing” styles (Justin is a visual-tactile learner who maps everything in his head then sits back and relaxes; I am tactile-verbal, have to discuss everything and write it all out; Zeb is kinesthetic-audible, learns through questions and answers and prefers group participation to working alone). All of our changes have been in finding ways to work with ourselves and each other, rather than against our own natures.
FH: Do you have a long-term plan for how long you will homeschool?
TW: For as long as Zeb is happy. We trust his choices and if at any time he decides to choose school we will fully support his decision.
FH: How has homeschooling affected your lives as parents? How do you balance homeschooling with your own need for grown-up time?
TW: As I mentioned before, we’re much better parents now – more patient, more accepting, more trusting. Spending all day with someone is the best motivation to creating healthy relationships. We enjoy the time we spend with Zeb and don’t differentiate between grown-up time and family-time. But as individuals, we all need time to ourselves or away from each other. Zeb spends most Friday afternoons with his Grandma, and plans sleepovers regularly with friends. Justin and I use that time to go on a date, visit friends, catch up on quiet time or sleep, or just relax alone or together.
FH: What challenges and benefits have you found in homeschooling more than one child? How has your family’s particular combination of ages, genders, personalities, interests, etc., shaped your homeschool as a whole?
TW: One of the challenges to having an only child is that Zeb doesn’t have a built-in playmate. He’s always been an independent child so it’s never been much of an issue until recently as he desires more than mom and dad to hang around. So we schedule regular playdates and sleepovers and maintain as much of a social life as any one of us can stand. Because we all have different social needs (introvert, extrovert, highly sensitive people, etc) it’s sometimes a balancing act. Pursuing our own individual interests and respecting each other’s boundaries takes practice but certainly creates an environment of trust.
FH: How do you make homeschooling work for your family’s schedule and lifestyle? Has a parent’s work/schedule changed to accommodate homeschooling? Does a parent work from home?
TW: I owned a massage therapy company prior to unschooling and sold it shortly after withdrawing Zeb from school. Since then I’ve worked off and on as a massage therapist, seeing private clients on occasion. Sometimes it’s a balancing act with our schedules but usually it’s dealt with like anything else – with flexibility. Justin’s work in construction means he’s usually home by early afternoon which opens up a lot of time to play or go places together. But because we don’t follow a rigid plan, and because we use every experience to learn from, it all becomes another educational moment.
FH: What, if any, misunderstandings about homeschooling have you encountered from your family, friends, neighbors, etc.
TW: Most people express concerns from a place of love. They only want what is best and have little understanding of unschooling or its possibilities. We’ve been told unschooling is a “detriment to society”, that Zeb will not be able to find a job, that he’s missing out on learning to handle bullies or go to the prom, and that he couldn’t possibly learn trigonomotry without public school. Sometimes I try to educate them on our methods and choices, sometimes I validate their fears and assure them I’m keeping a close eye on his “progress”, and sometimes I just agree to disagree and go on our merry way.
FH: How do you answer questions about your kids “socialization” ?
TW: Usually with something snarky like “I’d rather my son not learn his social skills from 30 other ten year olds.” Usually if they’ve met him, they know he’s well “socialized”, so the topic rarely comes up.
FH: What encouraging signs have you seen that homeschooling will prepare your children well for adulthood?
TW: Zeb is very confident in his choices. He doesn’t allow anyone to make choices for him and he always advocates for the little guy. He’s strongly opinionated and knows what he believes and why. He’s kind, gets along easily in most crowds and absorbs interesting information easily. I have no idea what he’ll choose to do at any time in his life but I wouldn’t be surprised if he was involved in helping people, working with animals or involved in politics. If he’s anything like us, he probably won’t settle on doing one thing.
FH: If you could pick a famous person, living or dead, to homeschool your kids for the day, who would you choose and why?
TW: Oh tough question! I guess it would depend on what week it was. This week I’d have to say someone like George Washington or Ron Paul, since he’s been immensely interested in politics and our political history. Maybe Steven Spielberg last week when he was working on creating his movies. And Jane Goodall, Michael Pollan or Rachel Carson for the times he’s worried about the environment, animals and his role in it all.
FH: What is your homeschool “dream scenario”?–if time, place, money, location, etc., were no object…
TW: Selling most of what we own, buying an old Winnebago and traveling the country for awhile. Wait! We’re about to do that next spring! Well, I’ll tack on traveling the world, too. 
This is an ongoing series. Our first interview with Jen McKinnon is here. If you are a homeschooling family interested in being profiled, please contact us.
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